Compulsion & Recovery

I have often been asked the question put to me by Uli Bartels, the photographer for the coffee addiction post, that is, how does one know the difference between addiction or not? The answer is quite simple – when the behaviour is repeated until it becomes problematic and often life-threatening then it is addiction. In other words when a person cannot stop themselves from repeating destructive behaviour then they have become addicted. So it is far better to reduce the behaviour before it becomes harmful and then it is necessary to abstain from usage all together.

Tags: biological-condition, choices, compulsion, dysfunctional, obsessive_compulsive_behaviour

Everyone who loves coffee enjoys the taste and the lift it gives, as well as the social interaction that goes with having coffee with people – friends or business colleagues. It is considered safer than alcohol or other excesses but needless to say coffee addiction is dangerous. How many people do you know who have reached the stage of needing to reduce the number of coffees they have in a day because of doctor’s orders? As I see it if you like coffee, better to drink a safe number of coffees per day than to have to do without it completely, should it get out of hand.

Tags: bliss, choices, comfort-food, compulsion, driven

It is so important to belong to a community of like minded people. It prevents isolation. It provides social activities and above all it gives us support when we need it. Furthermore, providing service to the community is also a healthy activity and can be quite fulfilling. However, it is vital that we avoid gossip and that we practise good people skills otherwise the purpose is defeated. People helping people is a basic necessity for happiness and fulfillment.

sometimes we teach what we need to learn
and Jessie paid attention to the message she gave
to the people who came to her for assistance
so although she was giving service because she
found it rewarding she also was mindful about
what it meant to her wellbeing
and the lesson she got for herself today was that
she was glad to be free of the obsession
that others were still struggling with

Tags: commitment, emotional-maturity, gratitude, healthy_lifestyle, role_models, support

Laurie commented on my post called Touch to stay alive asking whether it is possible to be addicted to touching, because she feels it may be her compulsion as she was deprived of touch? This compulsion is a symptom of codependence and love addiction which have the underlying characteristics of low self esteem, fear of intimacy and lack of trust, to name a few. In such a case we become addicted to touch and yet attracting more deprivation. Recovery will ease the pain because we learn how to give and receive affection in a healthy manner. Otherwise we attract those who reject us or those who are needy.

Tags: addiction, anxiety, dysfunctional_relationship, emotional_trauma, loving-relationships, personal_power, recovery, trust, unconditional-love

In response to my comments on food addiction, Mandy and Tiffany shared about their own struggle and reached out for help. They are not alone and there is hope for freedom from food addiction. A wise person once said to me “some things you cannot do alone – freedom from addiction is one of those things”. So here are some suggestions that may help.

First make a plan for what you want to achieve and make sure it has a healthy outcome.Then look at these options and find more for yourself to choose from.

An important part of being in recovery from codependence is having a healthy relationship with self. In other words, the choice is self love or codependence. A comment from Maranda on my post about having a relationship with self shows how difficult it is for some to conceptualise this – “Nice theory… How can you start “loving yourself” in real life, I wonder?” Some people can only feel lovable when someone else loves them and then they see themselves through someone else’s eyes. No one can make you feel in a certain way unless you allow yourself to feel that way to begin with. So the ability to feel one way or another comes from within. The same way that you can feel terrible about your self, you can feel confident about yourself and, therefore, feel lovable – that’s self love. To hand over your power about how you feel is codependence or being neurotic.

Tags: alone, anger, anxiety, attitude, back_to_basics, broken-trust, choices, commitment, confidence, cope, denial, dysfunctional_relationship, emotional_maturity, fresh_start, howto, learning_curve, life_strategies, loving-relationship, mind_power, power_prayer, relationship_skills, self-help

How many times have we wondered how a person can be out of control with food, after all it’s only food. Nevertheless so many are afflicted with an eating disorder – either overeating or undereating. It is a life threatening addiction. People who suffer with anorexia lose so much weight that their organs waste away and finally stop working. Those who suffer with bulimia have their insides torn up from the binging and purging. Those who are overeaters stress their organs with the excess weight and are at risk of developing diabetes, or when they already have it then they risk loss of limbs and death. Those who overeat and don’t put on too much weight have raised cholesterol which can reach dangerous levels and they don’t deal with their condition because they don’t believe it is dangerous. Then there is the madness of this addiction where we are preoccupied with food all the time – being driven or compelled to eat in order to satisfy the urge which is insatiable. Only in recovery are we free from that obsession and compulsion, and then we experience the feeling of serenity.

I’ve written about burnout in the last two posts because it is so prevalent in our day and age. Having experienced it myself, I shared with you about how burnout crept up on me and its consequences to my health. Fortunately, I was able to nip it in the bud, nevertheless it had left me not as strong as I am normally. As a food addict in recovery this causes me to think of rewarding myself with trigger foods to give me the energy. However, I reminded myself of the saying this too shall pass. So, I gave myself permission to do everything at 80% level so as to recuperate and not put myself at risk of burnout again. Admittedly, it takes a while to get back to normal.

Tags: addiction, anxiety, attitude, back_to_basics, biological-condition, burnout, carb_addicts, choices, chores, comfort-food, compulsive_overeating, denial, despair, diabetes, dysfunctional, emotional_maturity, enlightenment, fulfilment, gratitude, learning_curve

Addiction plays tricks with the mind, a form of insanity. People who are in denial about their addiction resent the notion that they are suffering the insanity that goes with the condition. How else can you describe the madness of addiction other than insanity, when you make yourself promises you don’t keep, when you find yourself lying, when your life becomes unmanageable and still you do the same? Is that not a form of insanity? Those of us who make it to the serenity of recovery, reach a stage when we are not ashamed of admitting that to be addicted,and remain that way, is insanity.

Tags: attitude, dream_come_true, fresh_start, insightful, learning_curve, obsessive_compulsive_behaviour, peace-of-mind, perseverence, relationship_skills, resentment, resource_person, role_models, serenity, straight_from_the_heart, stress, success, support_euthanasia, transition, trigger_foods, turmoil

Life can be so stressful that at times it does us good to see some movies that classify as codependent drivel. For women otherwise known as romantic comedies where ‘boy meets girl, they fight, then they end up together and live happily ever after’ and we leave the theatre smiling. This is often called a ‘chick flick’. For men the unbelievable action story where they dodge bullets and explosions and still live through, only to have sex with the perfect female star. As long as we remain aware that these movies are purely a form of escapism, then it is harmless codependent drivel.

Tags: ambiance, attitude, back_to_basics, bliss, choices, close_friends, companionship, dreamlike-event, dreams_come_true, emotional_maturity, fun, happy-event, laughter, peace-of-mind, ritual, romance, self-help, sense_of_humour, spirits