Life Strategies

I have written several posts on procrastination because it is such a traumatic experience and common to many of us. Procrastination affects us differently – some worse than others, as can be seen by Terry’s comment below. Regardless of how immobilised you feel when procrastination takes hold, there are different strategies that you can choose from to assist you. The most effective technique or strategy is that you learn how to relax so as to let go of the fear the task is causing you. Then give yourself permission to wait until you feel ready to begin. Plan a small step to begin your task once you have relaxed – the momentum will overcome your procrastination. You can find what works for you or you can choose to be a victim of procrastination. You may need some professional assistance to overcome the block.

Tags: anger, anxiety, attitude, back_to_basics, burnout, choices, chores, confidence, cope, counselling, deadlines, disruptive_behaviour, dysfunctional, emotional_maturity, howto, learning_curve, mind_power, personal_power, plan_of_action, proactive, roller_coaster, stress, success, thought-processes, trauma, turmoil, unmanageability

Easter for Christians means celebrating the resurrection of Christ – the Greeks on Easter Sunday say “Christ has risen” as they smash an egg with another person who responds “truly risen” followed by having a feast. Easter in Australia is celebrated by many with chocolate eggs in coloured, silver or gold paper – a delight for children and adults alike, and a long weekend holiday of four days. Easter was also a pagan celebration before Christ and that was celebrated with dyed or painted eggs representing fertility, everyone partied and had fun.

The worst part of fear is that we can become immobilised by it. In other words, we become frozen like a ‘stunned mullett’ when we are fearful and not able to make decisions to even save ourselves. There are several steps to take in order to cope with fear so that it does not debilitate us. First we need to breathe evenly in a rounded fashion – this will help us relax; then we need to imagine how it will feel to be a part of the solution and how rewarding that will be; finally we need to take action instead of just sitting and waiting for it to get better. There are probably other steps that may suit you personally, so note them and make sure you can recall them when you are next experiencing fear.

Tags: achievements, anxiety, choices, commitment, cope, denial, disruptive_behaviour, dysfunctional, emotional_maturity, goals, howto, job, learning_curve, life_experiences, misery, perseverence, stress, success

Someone wisely said to me once that to avoid burnout he puts in only 80% of his full potential, especially at work. Once he had experienced burnout to the worst level and thought he was even going to die, so from then on he always remembered how bad that was. Whenever he experienced euphoric recall about the ‘high’ of being productive, he remembered the misery of burnout and that snapped him out of being driven to do more. In time that tool gave him serenity and a healthy way of living whilst enjoying whatever he was doing.

Comments from Atlanta and Paul reminded me of the ’80% effort to avoid burnout’ theory and I show them here as a further reminder.

Tags: back_to_basics, burnout, choices, deadlines, denial, driven, emotional-maturity

When we commit to too many deadlines we risk burnout. That feeling of becoming immobilised and overcome by massive apathy. This can be interpreted as fatigue and in many ways it is. How easily burnout can sneak up on us, even if we are experienced and take the necessary precautions usually to avoid it happening. The sneaky part is that we are hooked on completing the task at hand, and the adrenaline rush throws us into denial about the risks that come with neglecting the safety measures. Once we are suffering burnout it, nature takes its course and we find that we are unable to do even the simplest things – as we vegetate the body and mind rejuvenates itself. We fret about being out of control and we promise never to let it happen again. Then we worry about the immobilised state we are in. We just need to remember that ‘this too shall pass’ and we will find the strength and motivation to become active once more.

Tags: achievements, anger, anxiety, attitude, back_to_basics, broken-trust, burnout, deadlines, denial, driven, dysfunctional, food_addiction

A very well known biblical saying with lots of meaning is “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Such a practical life strategy because it gives us a reminder to take 100% responsibility for our actions so that the consequences will be a reward. The only difficulty is that denial is a human shortcoming which fools us into thinking that our behaviour is appropriate when sometimes it is not. Then we are surprised at the reactions we get from people and can feel victimised when that happens because we think we didn’t deserve what was dished out to us.

Tags: attitude, choices, emotional_maturity, stress, unconditional_love

We pretend to be strong and yet fear of rejection can keep us apart. So many people recoil when they face a criticism. This can be because as a child their parents and or teachers impacted on them in a negative way, whether real or perceived the damage was done. As an adult they are left with scars from those experiences which affect their relationships badly. Others behave in the opposite way – they enjoy the challenge when they are rejected and keeping coming back. Both reactions can be perceived as attractive or unattractive depending on how your needs are met. Nevertheless, we can choose to deal with rejection in a way that makes our lives fulfilled or doomed, it’s all a choice.

Tags: anxiety, attitude, bliss, choices, dedication, dishonesty, emotional_maturity, identity, insightful, learning_curve, loving_relationship, new_relationships, parenting-skills, peace_of_mind, persistance, personal_power, phenomenon, plan_of_action, reframe, role_models, romance, sanity, self-help, serenity, straight_from_the_heart, support_euthanasia, transition, unconditional_love

I was contacted by a reporter, from Melbourne Age, who found posts on my site about living alone and I was interviewed. The interview covered my personal experience of living alone, those of clients I have seen who live alone, and what I would say as a Life Coach about this lifestyle. The most important points are that it is a rewarding lifestyle when it is by choice, it provides a unique feeling of freedom to do whatever I want when I want (within reason) and as I have been in the wife and mother role before, now my priorities are different. That doesn’t mean I will stay alone, as someone may come along who fits in with my current lifestyle and then I will be willing to share it. However, for now I am enjoying my aloneness.

Tags: attitude, bliss, choices, commitment, dreams_come_true, emotional_maturity, enlightenment, healthy_lifestyle, howto, independence, insightful

A relaxing activity is to play instrumental peaceful music as you fall asleep. It is vital, though, that the music be gentle and not have words that can instil a contrary message in your subconscious mind. Some songs, although beautiful, have messages of ‘poor abandoned me’ or psych you up with ‘I’m a winner’ and this is not relaxing as you sleep. Also important is that you play music that will finish and not be repeated all night because this may only keep you in a light sleep and not give you the rest you need. The same applies to sleeping with the TV on which can keep your mind busy all night. Then you wonder why you are tired and crotchety during the next day?

Tags: ambiance, back_to_basics, bliss, emotional_maturity, fulfilment, insightful, loveable, peace_of_mind, rescuing-the-relationship, serenity, smooth-transition, trust, unconditional_love

Rodger Cresswell made a comment about my post Affirmations – self hypnosis which was worth showing below because it is important to see how other people’s experiences confirm these life strategies. The more we repeat a positive message to ourselves (self hypnosis) then it becomes an affirmation which programs us to achieve our dreams. By the same token it is so important to avoid repetitive messages which are negative if we wish to be successful in life. Think about the times you have said to yourself “I’m going to drop this” and it is guaranteed to happen. Try repeating “I can do it” over and over and watch the phenomenon of success through mind power.