It is a very sad moment when a parent dies, especially after appearing cheery on your last visit in hospital and they give you a warm hug. What makes it harder is if you had a good loving relationship and experienced unconditional love. The pain stays with us at different degrees for the rest of our lives.
You said “Mum’s gone” and burst into tears
I said “oh no, I’m so sorry for your loss”
we had hoped for more time
even though we both knew that it could happen
because she had been so sick,
it was still a shock and it threw me back
40 years ago when I lost my Dad
here I am up at 2a.m. thinking about
how much it hurts at the loss of a parent
my thoughts are with you at this
very sad time
5 responses to the loss of a parent
Hello, I my self have been googleing all night too…
My husband has lost his mother 4 years ago to day.
I love him so much and I know no matter what I say its not going help him.
He tells me (you will never know a lost like mine)
I have. Been through this I my self have lost my grate grand dad when I was 8 whom I
Was vary close too. I just did get over this lost just 5 years ago.
But with all the grife he has. He is not like the man I married.
So mad and all ways a glass 1/2 hafe emtie kind of guy.
Is there anything I can do to save him?
I need him to live a full life and not
I shell of a life that once lived. No matter
What I will stan by him.
the loss of a parent
@ Rita. Such a loss can cause the varied responses which you are experiencing and I feel for you as it is a painful loss that seems never-ending. This process also triggers off unresolved issues from past losses too. So it is a double whammie at times. All I can say is make sure you get some grief counselling because no matter how often you need to repeat yourself about the pain then a counsellor is trained and equipped to support you, whereas friends and family can become a bit tired of the repetition that is required for the healing.
the loss of a parent
Hi Affie,
It is 3am and I’ve been Google searching ‘New Beginnings’since 2am. My dad died 3 months ago and he meant the world to me. I know I have been blessed to have him live for 88 years. Watching my mum’s grief after 65 amazing years of marriage is difficult but I’m finding the triggers for my emotions are so varied and often happen at unexpected times and in unexpected places. I have experienced a loss which I didn’t see coming (marriage – infedelity) and was able to move on in time. I know time will heal and I guess I need to be guided from within. Thanks for the chance to chat.
the loss of a parent
Hi Letitia,
Thank you for your words. I have responded to your comment in the post called unresolved grief issues of 13.7.06
I am wondering how much the loss of a parent contributes to a new, hopeful. but tentative relationship becoming dysfunctional and morphing into a love addiction.
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Unresolved grief issues » Affie Adagio Life Coach, Family Therapist, Marriage Celebrant, Trainer Comment on the loss of a parent (July 13th, 2006 at 21:47)
[...] Letitia made this comment when I wrote about the loss of a parent and my response is that awareness is 50% of the solution to a problem. So if we are aware of our unresolved grief issues then we can avoid letting them contaminate our relationships and turning them into dysfunctionality and/or love addiction. With unresolved grief issues it is difficult to avoid loving someone who subconsciously reminds us of our parents, whether it’s a loving parent or a punishing parent. This is, mainly because we search to find either a replacement for the loving parent whom we miss, or the punishing parent whose approval we seek. That is why grief counselling is vital, so that we stand a better chance of developing healthy loving relationships. Site search tags dysfunctional lost love love addiction loving parent loving relationships parents [...]
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