Fathers and mothers, with small children, are usually at a Life Stage when stresses affect their behaviour, making them intolerant. It’s vital that we don’t psychologise abusive behaviour exhibited by stressed parents. In other words, avoid excusing abusive actions just because parents are stressed – there’s no excuse good enough for abuse. So parents, remember that although you’re having a hard time, when you over-react about your children’s mistakes this negatively impacts on their self-esteem. Also your behaviour is seen as inappropriate and abusive by children and everyone around too! What’s more if the ‘punishment is too severe then the lesson is lost’. When you’re finding it difficult to keep your cool, then maybe you need to see a therapist so that you can let off steam before it becomes abusive for everyone concerned. Children need love to grow healthily, not fear. Childrearing specialists claim that prisoners didn’t get there from too much parental love as children.
she was almost hysterical as she told me
how her family was driving her crazy
her husband was in the same state!
you may say “no wonder” when they
are in stressful jobs and trying to
make a decent lifestyle for their family!
then as the story unfolded they realised that
their lives had become unmanageable due to
hard work, lots of bills and not enough rest
everything had become so serious and
children have no way of knowing how
to deal with their parents’ stress, therefore,
they chose to do things as a family that
would bring them fun and relaxation
as well as putting their home in order
instead of just excusing the dysfunctionality
The moment just before we begin a task, which is causing us some anxiety, is when procrastination usually happens. Even if it is a task that we would enjoy once we begin it, there can be a major block. Once we begin, however, we wonder why we had been so bogged down. It’s usually because our expectations and our perceived abilities are in conflict. That is, there is excitement about embarking on the task and in the last minute there is doubt as to how well it can be done. Procrastination and self doubt go hand in hand. The solution is to just begin and it will all fall into place.
I got so annoyed with the block I had
as I was about to begin a project which
I had been looking forward to and
had felt confident in achieving!
then the time came and I froze
could I do it? really do it well?
how will I do it? where to begin?
why had I undertaken the job?
then I remembered that
procrastination and self doubt
go hand in hand
so I sat down and began
and as usual I experienced
such a buzz as the project
got under way!
Red Nightmare, photo by Daniel Diaz, Madrid, Spain,anxiety, deadlines