An identifying characteristic of someone who is using drugs excessively can sometimes be that no matter how attractive they are they have a wild look. A look that threatens any notion of the personal safety of those around, even though it may not be intentional. That look appears to see through people and lacks intimacy. It creates a feeling that the afflicted person is possibly out to take whatever they can and we need to protect ourselves and our possessions. Yet the person in question thinks that no one can tell that they have be using drugs. Therefore, it is important to challenge the behaviour safely and tell them what we see, instead of pretending it is not obvious.
Patrick came to pick up Judy to go to their friend’s dinner party
as she opened the door she noticed a difference in him – a wild look
so she asked him to come in and as respectfully as she could
told him that he appeared strange and that was putting it mildly!
he excused the look by saying he had a disagreement with his boss
Judy trusted her gut feelings and stood her ground saying that she
was not comfortable with going out when he looked like that
of course he stormed off cranky but he knew that
his appearance was not as invisible as he’d thought
which was the first step towards changing his behaviour