Maranda made a comment on my post about a blueprint for relationships – “…Oh, let me tell you – it DOES NOT work!” When you think that making a blueprint for your ideal relationship doesn’t work, then you are doomed to have dysfunctional relationships. Everything in life depends on good planning. So planning your relationship together with your partner is being smart. Marriage counselling agencies have sessions or workshops aimed at enhancing relationships. Marriage celebrants are compelled by the government, to recommend that couples have such an experience before they get married. This is a valuable, practical exercise which can also be modified to use whenever there is a “pinch” in the relationship.
when I worked as a marriage and family therapist
for a well known agency in Sydney I was also trained to
carry out tests to assist couples to prepare for marriage
the tests could be sent off to a computer analysis firm
and once returned to us, the couple and I
processed the results together
often there were areas that the couple had
assumed would not be a problem until
they saw what their answers revealed
so with that information they would
make a basic plan to ensure that the
relationship had a good foundation
I’m glad this post got so much attention. Some comments from experienced people like Anita who has written a book on relationships. It is important to remember that what I wrote about was one person’s thoughts which can be added to or customised to suit you.
Making a blueprint and planning your relationship is important. However I would not want it to be the first step.
I believe each of you in the relationship must know what it is you want, know your values and what you believe in and, most importantly, you must love yourself. In loving yourself you have more love to give to your loved one…and guess what…love comes bouncing straight back. Isn’t this true for you…when you feel the love come to you from your loved one, don’t you want to give it straight back. Even if you’re angry, I bet you begin to soften. I know this is so for me.
Once you know what you want, then you could compare both your visions. It is important to stay true to youself in this…what are your values, what could you compromise on and what is core to you?
Anita Jackson, author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” http://www.rekindlethemagic.com