Louanne wrote in response to my post on addiction is lying how she believes her husband is an addict and lies. When she threatens divorce “he cowers and cleans up his act for a while” but she doesn’t think he has the personal strength to admit the true problem and “get appropriate care”. She goes on to say:
I’m in such a dilemma. I would LOVE to be free from this man, but I look for answers in the bible and I believe it says to work it out. I see a lifetime of struggle and unhappiness with this man. Is that what my path is to stay in a close walk with God?
I don’t believe that working it out and “staying in a close walk with God” means the suffering of the family while a person who is addicted is in denial and does not seek appropriate help. In putting up with this behaviour you are accommodating his denial and lies. Nevertheless, when you and your daughters have had enough pain, in other words reached your ‘rock bottom’ as to what you can cope with, then you will take the steps that are necessary, based on ‘tough love’. Perhaps in the meantime it would help you to attend therapy to help you avoid enabling his addiction. Such help can be gained from an addictions therapist and/or a 12 Step support group of that compulsion such as Al Anon or Naranon or even CoDA (Codependents Anonymous).
Look up. Your answer is Jesus. He is the answer to all problems. Pray, Ask him into your life. Ask him to heal you show you the way. Seek him. Get your Bible and start reading. Start in the book of John. See a Pastor. Jesus has already taken care of this problem and every other problem. You just have to believe he has and except it. What good is a gift that has been given to you if you never open to see what is inside. Or you do open it but you put it on a shelf and never use it. I will pray for you and everyone else and my daughter. She knows the truth. Look to the cross for the answers. But I guess she thanks it is to simple.
Do you have any suggestions of where to look, and what kind of therapy to seek? I am located in Adelaide, SA.
@Mikaela: You are right that your addiction is lying. It will make you even more sorry unless you get therapy for it. One of the reasons you lie is because you have low self esteem and you may be afraid if people know the truth you will not be liked. Therapy can help you be free of this need to lie.
I am not lying to cover an addiction, but i believe my addiction is lying. I will lie about anything, from the colour of the sky to where i was that day. I lie to everyone, my friends, my family, my collegues. Even after im caught. I know how important it is to stop, i want to stop, i just have no clue how. Its a very distructive cycle and its destroying my life.
@Ethel: if taking codeine is not a problem for you, that is, it does not make your life unmanageable, then it is not addiction. However, I am a diabetic and I cannot understand why you would need codeine to get you through with your son’s condition. Codeine is for physical pain. Are you consulting with your doctor about why you need to use it and how much you use?
Have diabetic son and depend on codeine to get me thru.