‘Collage-Life’ said “Why no one has commented on this bright bit of information, I know not.” She is referring to my post 13th Step – don’t screw anyone crazier than you. This is not a new concept in the 12 Step fellowship but perhaps not written about often enough. Entering into an intimate relationship with someone in early recovery, who is basically attempting to regain their sanity, has a doomed outcome. The suggested period of time to avoid relationships is at least one year when the person can focus their total efforts on developing a new lifestyle. As sobriety or clean-time becomes the preferred option, emotional maturity takes place. Then the person is ready to safely enjoy and manage the madness of romantic love which takes place in an intimate relationship. Sometimes this also applies with old relationships that became dysfunctional because of the addiction. Better to be safe than sorry that you have a ‘wounded bird’ for a partner – 13 Step disaster.
Your partner made a good beginning
with 90 meetings in 90 days
lying is part of addiction and
ignoring your own intuitions is
part of being an enabler for addiction
you have learnt the hard way and no doubt
it must have been very painful
you have understood better than both of you
that you need to stay apart until he is
strong in his recovery otherwise quite likely
he will relapse and will blame you
it’s the nature of the disease
you have chosen well to wait
trust your intuition and
in the meantime attend Al Anon meetings
which helps friends and relatives of alcoholics
to know how to relate for the best and
avoid the 13 Step disaster
