Addiction and relationships

Together photo by Sanja Gjenero, Zagreb, Croatia, unmanageablity, dysfunctionalityWhen people first come into recovery from an addiction they are encouraged to focus on themselves and if in detox avoid contact with family or getting into new relationships. Once they develop the relationship with self and are comfortable living without their drug (or process) of choice they are in a better position to develop healthy relationships. Addiction and relationships cause major dysfunctionality. An ‘addictive process’ can represent one or more addictions to gambling, eating/undereating, working, being busy, spending, sex, love, relationships, avoidance of intimacy, and isolation (hermits) and no doubt more. ‘Drug’ means alcohol, narcotics, nicotine, tobacco, pot, prescribed pills, recreational pills such as ecstasy, ice and so on.

she had been to hell and back addicted to prescription medication
he had dabbled with pot and was a heavy drinker
he experienced blackouts too but thought it was OK
both smoked cigarettes cause it seemed cool
as their life spiralled downhill they realised it was unmanageable
unpaid bills, no work, no money, avoiding debt collectors, and
worst of all accidents with their cars, injuries, plus illness
jealousy and fights topped it all off – pure codependence
that’s unmanageability!
so they cleaned up their act with the help of a professional
who knew about this kind of craziness
that’s what addiction and relationships are about
major dysfunctionality and unmanageablity
then in recovery they planned their future
being happy and free of the demons that had plagued them
serenity and peace of mind at last brought about
emotional and financial security

When Happy Hour means alcoholism

Happy Hours, photo by Emin Ozkan, iZIR, TURKEY, social ritualHow great it is for most people to meet at the end of the day and enjoy two-drinks-for-the-price-of-one with work colleagues or mates. Happy Hour for the majority of people it is just that, but for those who have developed a drinking problem, Happy Hour is anything but happy. For them it means when they join the others, their drinking gets out of control. That’s when Happy Hour means alcoholism. If they are in recovery then usually they avoid that social ritual at the end of the day. Quite a paradox at that, but they have no choice for the sake of their sanity.

Happy Hour had been great as he and his mates
had been winding down after a busy day
he felt in a good mood, therefore, he was
oblivious to the fact that he had bloodshot eyes
and being drunk, his words slurred badly
I gave him feedback on what was obvious and
he admitted that the ideal was that he should
stop after the first few drinks but as he couldn’t
the realisation hit him yet again
he needed to accept the fact that alcohol
was his enemy and not his friend
and that fun with mates can be healthy
but he needs to avoid the ritual of having drinks
when Happy Hour means alcoholism