loveable – Page 2 – Dr Affie Adagio

Young toddlers are so cute and loveable. But children acting out can be so exhausting and perplexing for the parents especially. What causes them to be angels one minute and devils the next? Children go through phases of change and each transition has the good and the bad. However, if the disruptive behaviour continues, parents need to look at their own behaviour as children mirror that of their parents. Parents, are you tense and short tempered? Children can feel responsible for how their parents behave. When parents relax and remember to become loving, they role-model friendly behaviour and the children can copy that.

I asked the child whether he knew why his parents
seemed so serious with him lately?
he said he did not know why
so I explained that this happens to
other children too and that’s because
parents have such an important job
to teach their children what’s right or wrong,
how to do the right thing and
that his parents love him very much
he said sometimes it did not feel that way
and the other day he felt he
did not even belong in the family!
such a sad thought from someone so young
how easy it is for our children to
get the wrong impression

marco bump! photo by Giuseppe Crimeni, Marina di Gioiosa Jonica, Italy, http://www.webalice.it/krimeboy

We all get angry but different people have different ways of behaving when they get angry. Some shout and others express themselves appropriately without throwing a tantrum. Then again there are those whose response is minimal but deep inside there is turmoil, so they withdraw. Nevertheless their behaviour shows they are unhappy and it is tense around them. That’s what is commonly known as passive aggression and not very helpful in a relationship. It is better for them and others that they at least attempt to express their feelings maturely rather than hold them inside which causes ill health, just as acting out angry behaviour aggressively also does.

for a long time she kept quiet when she was angry
that’s the way it had always been for her but
she had not realised that it was written on her face
all the frustration, the hurt and the pain
brought about by that anger
however it did not help in the long run even though she
had become good at passive aggression
as she practised a healthier way of communicating
she became more loveable and happier
only now and then she slipped back to the old ways
but at least nowadays it was for a shorter time because
she knew that it was so obviously
immature and unhealthy

Tag: loveable

children acting out

Passive Aggression