soulmate – Page 3 – Dr Affie Adagio

Getting Married

Some people prefer not to marry but just live together. Their reasoning is that they think marriage is just a bit of paper which creates a feeling of being in prison. Others feel that when they have reached a state of intimacy that is fulfilling and exciting, then getting married is the cherry on top. The planning of the event symbolises their loving future together and is a happy ritual.

the couple came to me to plan their special event
they were getting married and wanted the ceremony
to take place in a secluded spot on the river
as it turned out they found a unique cave which
was tucked in the side of the mountain
and we stepped off their boat and
to the music of a friend’s guitar
the ceremony took place and it was
very romantic and memorable

New beginnings

When relationships end, either by death or divorce, part of the growth process is how we make new beginnings. We complete our grieving and only then can we accept that it’s over. Some decide to spend time alone to recover from their loss, while others search for a new relationship. Nevertheless, Life goes on and so do we, that’s the way it should be.

every other time he had gone after her
this time he waited for her to come back on her own
and she didn’t!
so he licked his emotional wounds and
got back up from the depths of his depression
“Life goes on” someone had said
and now it was the best thought
as he considered new beginnings
the future was more promising
last time I saw him he was smiling and his life
was so much brighter now
behold, photo by Arjun Chennu, Chennai, India, http://arjmage.blogspot.com

Love addiction

How often are we amazed at how we are held hostage by loving someone who does not return that love. Unrequited love is very potent and keeps us hooked. We become unaware that the other person does not feel for us as we feel for them and just because they show interest we interpret that as being what we want it to be. This is called denial and the core issue is love addiction. When we can see it for what it is: purely friendship, then we are able to stay real. But when we make something of it that it is not then the end result is pain. Love addiction is experienced by both the giver and the receiver.The receiver (victim) is the one who hopes that what they want is truly happening. The giver (perpetrator) is blind to the needs of the other and keeps them hopefully dangling. The whole process causes intrigue and is in itself love addiction.

she smiled, joked and had a sexy look
he thought he had found his soulmate
they thought alike but when he tried to
get closer she ran away
when he gave up, she was back
promising more than before but then nothing
he decided that was it, never again!
but she looked at him and he melted
what was he to do with this joy and pain?
she couldn’t understand why he was making
such a big thing out of nothing
she wanted just friendship and
was not ready for anything more
yet she couldn’t stay away!
they call it love addiction

Don’t give up on love

Love is our own emotion to do with as we please. We feel it for someone or we stop feeling that way. It is good when we love someone and it is painful when they stop loving us but they don’t take away the ability for us to love. It just causes us to withdraw for a while to heal our love wounds. Don’t give up on love when that happens because in time love blooms again and a powerful lesson is learnt too.

he loved her more than life itself
and would do anything for her to be happy
nevertheless it was not enough and she
left him stranded with the kids, toddlers at that!
then she returned only to leave again
this time with another in the middle of the night
she took one child and left the other
he was a good father as a sole parent
but he used to say “one life, one love”
and I would say “don’t give up on love”
one day he fell in love again
and how great it was to see his happiness

Friendship

Friendship is one of Life’s most valuable experiences. Whether it’s between friends or lovers, friendship is the basis of being soulmates and finding happiness. We enjoy being with our friends. They are there for us when we need them and we, in turn, try to do likewise. Furthermore, a loving relationship based on friendship has a better chance of being fulfilling and lasting.

I sat in a meeting and he shared that he knew
many people but did not have close friends
I was stunned at how profound that was
because it applied to me also
so I made a decision to leave myself open to
strengthening friendships with peers and
as the year passed I had a handful of
close friends – soulmates
friendship is so important to
having happiness in my Life

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