Category: Life Strategies

the loss of a parent

It is a very sad moment when a parent dies, especially after appearing cheery on your last visit in hospital and they give you a warm hug. What makes it harder is if you had a good loving relationship and experienced unconditional love. The pain stays with us at different degrees for the rest of our lives.

You said “Mum’s gone” and burst into tears
I said “oh no, I’m so sorry for your loss”
we had hoped for more time
even though we both knew that it could happen
because she had been so sick,
it was still a shock and it threw me back
40 years ago when I lost my Dad
here I am up at 2a.m. thinking about
how much it hurts at the loss of a parent
my thoughts are with you at this
very sad time

where are you?

When we experience the loss of someone close, especially a relative, we may need to emotionally run away, physically going into hibernation to “lick our wounds of sorrow”. However, in doing so we don’t realise that we cause tremendous worry to our loved ones. Answer their calls and let them know you are OK and then retreat into your world of grief.

I’ve left several messages
where are you?
are you still alive?
I know you are in pain
grief does that
nevertheless, just let me know
you’re OK and then
I will patiently wait
for when you’re ready to talk

romantic love

A lot can be said for romantic love as the springboard for a long-term relationship. It creates moments of thinking alike, enjoying the same things, being able to finish each other’s sentences and feeling totally understood by a significant other. The future looks promising and full of dreams. Such romantic love sees us through moments of confusion and gives us the patience to improve our relating skills as we transcend to the next stage of our loving relationship.

Cupid’s arrow struck and we found
romantic love
too blind to notice any flaws
we travelled over the
rocky road of our relationship
passion fuelled our love
and in time we developed
a loving relationship that
nurtured companionship
how absolutely marvellous!

What is violence?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that being passionate about your expression is not violence. What is violence? Shouting, swearing, intimidating, bullying, overpowering, threatening are not just being honest – it is violence. There is no excuse for violence. This is a problem not only with men towards women but also women towards men, adults towards children, children towards each other and as statistics show children towards adults – especially their parents. It is true that adults do role-model behaviour which children copy and therefore adults need to be held responsible for that outcome. Assess your own behaviour before you blame others, but don’t put up with violence.

so many people explain away other people’s
terrible behaviour in the hope that it
will change
they also blame themselves
what is violence?
anything someone does
which distresses and intimidates us
reach out for help when that happens
it will only get worse if
you put up with it

we teach what we need to learn

Have you heard yourself tell people how to solve their latest problem. When your suggestion is appreciated you are making a constructive point. That point could also be something you need to take note of yourself for we teach what we need to learn.

faced with an unsolvable problem
I felt too exasperated to
think about it any more!
then in response to someone’s dilemma
I heard myself give
a helpful solution to my own problem
this reminded me that
we teach what we need to learn

purpose and direction

Finishing a task always helps us to feel that we have been productive in life. Having purpose and direction is extremely important to our wellbeing. Achievement fuels our self-esteem. There is a sense of completion of unfinished business that is always positive no matter how small the task.

I procrastinated and delayed the completion of my task
I knew that I would become motivated eventually
that thought did help, somewhat
as the anxiety lessened about the task
I found the ‘get up and go’ to tackle it
and how great it feels to have finished
at last

money comes, money goes

Are you one of these people who spends money as quickly as it comes to you?
Do you wonder how that can be changed? Then make the commitment to put
some away for emergencies and then you won’t be broke all the time.

money comes to me but
I can’t seem to not spend it all
in other words – money comes, money goes
and when I need it there’s none
so from now on I’ve made
a commitment to
store a little away
for a ‘rainy day’ as they say
and then money comes to money

separation

We fall in love and think it is for the rest of our lives. Then the time comes when we cause more pain to each other than it is humanly possible to take. The thought of failure stops us from doing what is best. The children suffer to see their parents fight – not a very good example for marriage. Some folks are smart enough to seek help from counselling and the solution takes place. Others think counselling is shameful or ridiculous and their unhappiness is prolonged. Sometimes nothing can salvage the relationship and it is far better to part, providing it is done in a healthy way. Then those involved will learn from the experience rather than just suffer trauma.

my life with you promised to be
a dream come true
what happened that it all turned
into so much pain?
was it me, was it you?
then separation was the only
answer
the end of a dream
as we carefully explained it
to the children and hoped
that they would understand
why it had to end

reminiscing is therapeutic

It’s nearly the end of the year again, reminding me how time flies. Remembering the time gone by I realise thirty years have passed and it seems as though it was yesterday. The memories are good and bad. Each brings back musical tunes, smells, tastes, feelings like in the here and now. Reminiscing has its therapeutic value even when it involves grief.

how good to remember that tune
“and they call it puppy love”
brings back the feeling
exactly how it was then
nevertheless my heart flutters now
as it did when I first heard that song
yet it was decades ago
amazing!

karmic debt

Some people believe in karma and the debt, others think that karma is superstition or a belief in the supernatural. Regardless of which worldview we have it is much more productive and even healthier to do things in life that can be repeated by others to benefit humanity .

they say what goes ‘round comes ‘round
reap and ye shall sow
do unto others as you would have them
do unto you
doesn’t matter which text you believe in
it all means the same
the karmic debt will be paid
eventually!