Parents and teachers have the important role of setting limits for children. However, some people forget to be loving and are too strict in this role. This causes feelings of deprivation in children which influence them negatively all their lives. Deprivation is one of the basic symptoms of addiction. Addicted people try to feed the feelings of deprivation by rewarding themselves to excess. This leads to lack of self discipline and they are compelled to keep rewarding themselves to their own detriment. The solution is to find a method that resolves the deprivation experienced and creates feelings of love. This varies with the individual but it can be done successfully with or without therapy. Self help groups are a loving fellowship and play an important healing role in this process.
whenever I promised myself to eat healthy and avoid
what’s unhealthy for my diabetes and weight gain
all the good intentions kept failing!
overcome by the strongest feelings of deprivation
my resolve weakened which led to
eating something not on my food plan but
I remembered how I mastered my nicotine addiction with
18yrs of abstinence, freedom from chain smoking now
but that feeling of rewarding myself no matter how
short lived was connected to the amount of strictness
I experienced as a child and I was in touch with that so
when I gave in it was like rewarding the crying child inside
then I found a food plan for Carbohydrate Addicts and
my feelings of deprivation and cravings were resolved
what’s more I feel loved and normal while losing weight
my diabetes blood sugar count is lowering steadily
All you need is, photo by Sam LeVan, Philadelphia, United States, best therapy
Some people think that we need to rid ourselves of negative feelings when in actual fact that would only result in pushing them down into the pressure cooker of our inner world. This will result in a volcanic eruption when we least expect it. More useful is befriending negative feelings and realising that they are valuable to us when we reframe them for a positive outcome.
negative feelings can be frightening
and she tried to bury them
feelings of anger, self pity, resentment
until someone pointed out that
befriending negative feelings turns them
into fuel for living a full happy life
they call that reframing the negative into a positive!
much better than when she used up all that energy
to bury them and they explode unexpectedly as well!
gasp as you photo by Kristen Handfield Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada http://sassmuffin.deviantart.com/
Sometimes people have lives which are stable and fulfilling because they have accepted that they have biological reasons for taking medication. The worst that can happen is when others who believe in life without medication try to influence the community to do likewise. This can be life threatening to many who depend on medication for a healthy lifestyle.
do not try to impose your viewpoint that
I should live my life without medication
as I may have biological reasons for
taking medication and my choices are
well informed and this is my decision
which I need you to respect
When life experiences create unavoidable traumas we underestimate the impact on our health and behaviour. We have emotional and physical burnout which is a feeling of despondency and fatigue affecting our motivation.
Some of us turn to self medication through substances or process such as food, drugs, sex, gambling, over working, or becoming busy with chaotic unmanageability. Others withdraw and resort to sleeping too much or isolating. Some suffer untreated depression or other illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts.
All of these problems can be resolved. Primarily we need to rest and recuperate without feeling guilty whilst nature takes its healing course. This can be achieved through relaxation created by meditation, yoga, walking, swimming, meeting with friends and giving ourselves the time to recover.
Then we need to be medically checked, perhaps attend counselling, improving our nutrition and even taking supplements (vitamins). Furthermore and importantly we need to make ourselves reach out to friendly people and be transparent about our struggle. We can gain support in doing that just as we can give it to others later on.
It is vital to remember through the worst time that things will improve in time and before long we will find the motivation to succeed again.
As I sat in the dark tunnel as a result of a disaster
I wondered if the light at the end was an oncoming train or
the thrill of sunshine and happier days
now when I look back on that emotional and physical burnout
I chuckle to myself for letting it appear so hopeless
At some time or other we have all been the target of manipulation – a dysfunctional behaviour. It appears as emotional blackmail; an attempt to rescue us from making our own mistakes; foisting a guilt trip on us in an attempt to control us and many other examples. Unfortunately, we also are subject to doing the same so as to influence others to do what we want them to do. That is human behaviour, nevertheless, we can free ourselves of it because it can contaminate our own wellbeing.
How tempting it is to use tricks to get you to
do what I think is good for you, and me!
But I have learnt the hard way when it was done to me
and I dislike it so much, not to mention how obvious it was!
Manipulation – a dysfunctional behaviour which is
like a tumour in my psyche, whether I do it to you or
you do it to me – it still has the same outcome!
Being busy can be another way of running away from our inner turmoil. In this way we do not face what is troubling us, hoping it will go away if we don’t focus on it. Of course that is not the case. The turmoil only becomes trauma and harder to resolve when we don’t identify its existence and make an attempt to transform the conflict into peaceful outcomes. Awareness of the problem is 50% of the solution and education is the other 50% – the ‘what’ and ‘how’ to change it.
I was so stressed from the activities
I had committed myself for
it appeared as those there were not enough
hours in the day
I know this feeling, I’ve been there before
too busy to even relax and catch my breath
what am I trying to avoid?
what am I in denial about?
today is my birthday and life seems to be
flying by me!
now that makes sense and I need not stress
just need to have more fun