transition – Page 2 – Dr Affie Adagio

Recovery through education

Addiction creeps up on a person before they realise it’s too late.? Then they can’t stop repeating the debilitating behaviour.? Becoming free of the grip of addiction is possible through education and an experienced helping hand.? So many have succeeded to be set free from such compulsion.? Recovery through education about the addictive process can only be achieved successfully with the support of others, especially those who have had the same experience and recovered.? You cannot do it by yourself, so reach out.

it was such a long hard struggle
and she tried over and over
each time the sobriety lasted
maybe a day or two
and then she had a drink
and it was a downward tumble again
she told me she was contemplating
suicide to get free of the torment
until she came into detox and
the support of Alcoholics Anonymous
she was so amazed at how many
successful people had reached the same
hopeless situation as she had done
and how they found recovery through education
because it’s not enough to just stop drinking
you need to deal with the feelings for which
alcohol is used to cover

Power of Music

The power of music can be easily overlooked. Notice which songs or tunes grab your heartstrings – varies with your mood doesn’t it? When we are in a good mood, happy songs complement our mood. When we feel unhappy, songs that are sad and almost like crying make us feel supported in that mood. When we are happy, hearing sad songs can be annoying. Residents of institutions, recovering from mental illness, can become more settled in their mood if classical music is playing. Research showed that monks listening to baroque music became more productive, similarly monks who chanted had the same productive outcome. Sometimes when I’m listening to sad music I can feel myself crying inside and at other times I feel impatient and need to change the music to something unemotional or perhaps classical. Music also helps me to be more aware of ‘where I’m at’.

when I ran halfway houses for people
recovering from addictions or
residential homes for wards of the state
it was apparent that
the music playing in the house
affected their moods
so I recommended that they avoid
as much as possible
heavy metal or loud thumping music
and this not only made a huge difference
to their inner peace and wellbeing
but also helped them feel more empowered
choosing to listen to such music in
shorter spurts and at
more appropriate times
for them and everybody else

Parents

Parents can improve or damage a child’s ability to relate healthily. It’s not easy to bring up children. First, our own self esteem needs to be well developed to cope with their phases of transition and testing the limits. Our own moods and behaviour are also mirrored by them and this is sometimes not a pleasant experience, especially when we are in denial about our own behaviour. On the positive side, when children grown up relatively well adjusted and happy, their parents can take the credit for a job well done.

yesterday, my father died 44 years ago
I was 18 years old and his nurturing but firm
parenting skills left me well prepared for Life
thank goodness because
my mother’s behaviour towards me
left me somewhat confused
when she walked out I was 8 years old
and from then on he was both my
father and mother for the next 10 years
creating a safe environment where I learnt much
from his way of thinking and used that method
in the childrearing practices for my own children
also in the way I relate with my grandchildren
this has rippled out to my work as a family therapist
all this from a gentle man with a sense of humour
who valued being a caring parent
I remember him well