turmoil – Page 2 – Dr Affie Adagio

9/11 tragedy

Every year we are reminded of the 9/11 tragedy in the USA. It is so painful to think of how much everyone suffered, while we watched from our end of the world safe and sound.? What amazes me is how come the strongest nation in the world has not be able to catch the perpetrators who originated the plan to kill so many innocent people.? Of course, we are not safe here unless we prepare for the worst.? Nevertheless, peace needs to be our first priority.

peace will bring us happiness
not without remembering what
has happened in the past
lest we forget all those
who have died for us

Spending addiction

We delight in the thought of going shopping when we want to lift our spirits. Everyone supports this by laughing about it when it’s mentioned. It is healthy fun except when it is a spending addiction. How do we know the difference? It’s a matter of whether the spending is affordable, not excessive, and above all does not create clutter by accumulating too much. Mainly when we feel uncomfortable about the spending and still do it then it needs attention.

she looked depressed and opened up to
how low her finances were and how hard
it is to feed small children as a sole parent
with no support from the father
her job was not paying well and the
expenses were high
there was no time nor money for
socialising and having fun with friends
her only delight was shopping sprees at
St. Vincents de Paul where she spent little
and got things she couldn’t otherwise afford
however her spending addiction was getting out of hand
in therapy she found out that by admitting it
half the problem is solved and she made a plan
to get her spirits lifted a healthier way

Passive Aggression

We all get angry but different people have different ways of behaving when they get angry. Some shout and others express themselves appropriately without throwing a tantrum. Then again there are those whose response is minimal but deep inside there is turmoil, so they withdraw. Nevertheless their behaviour shows they are unhappy and it is tense around them. That’s what is commonly known as passive aggression and not very helpful in a relationship. It is better for them and others that they at least attempt to express their feelings maturely rather than hold them inside which causes ill health, just as acting out angry behaviour aggressively also does.

for a long time she kept quiet when she was angry
that’s the way it had always been for her but
she had not realised that it was written on her face
all the frustration, the hurt and the pain
brought about by that anger
however it did not help in the long run even though she
had become good at passive aggression
as she practised a healthier way of communicating
she became more loveable and happier
only now and then she slipped back to the old ways
but at least nowadays it was for a shorter time because
she knew that it was so obviously
immature and unhealthy

Befriending negative feelings

Some people think that we need to rid ourselves of negative feelings when in actual fact that would only result in pushing them down into the pressure cooker of our inner world. This will result in a volcanic eruption when we least expect it. More useful is befriending negative feelings and realising that they are valuable to us when we reframe them for a positive outcome.

negative feelings can be frightening
and she tried to bury them
feelings of anger, self pity, resentment
until someone pointed out that
befriending negative feelings turns them
into fuel for living a full happy life
they call that reframing the negative into a positive!
much better than when she used up all that energy
to bury them and they explode unexpectedly as well!

gasp as you photo by Kristen Handfield Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada http://sassmuffin.deviantart.com/

the loss of a love

when a lover says that it’s over
the shock and anger is unbelievable
“it’s not true, it’s a nightmare, how could it be?”
then the bargaining adds to the turmoil
“could things have been handled differently
and the loss of a love been avoided?”

getting through this phase does not guarantee
that the acceptance of the loss is reached
unfortunately this pain can go on in cycles
nevertheless it does get better
and we move on to happier and more fulfilling times
having hope for that gets us through the worst moments