The clown in addiction

Clowns 2, photo by Sasha Davas, Australia, double bindIn life we need fun and laughter to stay healthy. When it is missing then we turn to substances and or processes that lift our spirits. Unfortunately, using such means results in repetitive behaviour which is not fulfilling because eventually whatever we do isn’t enough. The clown in addiction can be a cover up for immense unhappiness and low self esteem. In other circumstances, the clown is a fun performance for the audience to enjoy.

as she spoke to me about the sadness and abuse
she had experienced all her life up till now
she chuckled often at the most traumatic recollections
as a therapist I was obliged to give her feedback on this
pointing out that incongruous behaviour was not unusual
in codependence and addictions
she quickly understood the message about
the clown in addiction
and this insight, although it hurt a little
no pain no gain they say
helped her to be more authentic about
her feelings and therefore closer
to resolving the turmoil inside
serenity at last

Power of Music

Pure Music 1, photo by sanja gjenero, Zagreb, Croatia, http://www.sxc.hu/photo/517854, mood managementThe power of music can be easily overlooked. Notice which songs or tunes grab your heartstrings – varies with your mood doesn’t it? When we are in a good mood, happy songs complement our mood. When we feel unhappy, songs that are sad and almost like crying make us feel supported in that mood. When we are happy, hearing sad songs can be annoying. Residents of institutions, recovering from mental illness, can become more settled in their mood if classical music is playing. Research showed that monks listening to baroque music became more productive, similarly monks who chanted had the same productive outcome. Sometimes when I’m listening to sad music I can feel myself crying inside and at other times I feel impatient and need to change the music to something unemotional or perhaps classical. Music also helps me to be more aware of ‘where I’m at’.

when I ran halfway houses for people
recovering from addictions or
residential homes for wards of the state
it was apparent that
the music playing in the house
affected their moods
so I recommended that they avoid
as much as possible
heavy metal or loud thumping music
and this not only made a huge difference
to their inner peace and wellbeing
but also helped them feel more empowered
choosing to listen to such music in
shorter spurts and at
more appropriate times
for them and everybody else

9/11 tragedy

clouds, photo by Simona Dumitru, Paris,  France, sorrow griefEvery year we are reminded of the 9/11 tragedy in the USA. It is so painful to think of how much everyone suffered, while we watched from our end of the world safe and sound.? What amazes me is how come the strongest nation in the world has not be able to catch the perpetrators who originated the plan to kill so many innocent people.? Of course, we are not safe here unless we prepare for the worst.? Nevertheless, peace needs to be our first priority.

peace will bring us happiness
not without remembering what
has happened in the past
lest we forget all those
who have died for us

Formative years

Baby, photo by Kathryn McCallum, Orlando, United States, nurturing chilhoodWhen a child is born we have a huge responsibility to be nurturing and caring especially for its formative years because it is so vulnerable and precious. That initial treatment has long-lasting benefits. However, should those childhood experiences be traumatic and filled with abuse or neglect, then there are serious consequences to the child’s growth. Such trauma can cause low self esteem in a person, resulting in them turning to feelgoods to cope better. Such feelgoods as becoming addicted to substances or processes to fill the void inside and ease the pain.

as they cuddled their new born baby
their gentleness and love showed
I knew how long they had waited
now they planned their parenting skills
not too fussy and overprotective
nor too busy and emotionally absent
so important to get a good balance
careful not to treat the baby as a toy
make sure there is a routine so
the baby gets proper rest and yet
ensuring that limits are set early on
they knew that these are
the formative years for
good self esteem and healthy living