Compulsion & Recovery – Page 8

Befriending negative feelings

Some people think that we need to rid ourselves of negative feelings when in actual fact that would only result in pushing them down into the pressure cooker of our inner world. This will result in a volcanic eruption when we least expect it. More useful is befriending negative feelings and realising that they are valuable to us when we reframe them for a positive outcome.

negative feelings can be frightening
and she tried to bury them
feelings of anger, self pity, resentment
until someone pointed out that
befriending negative feelings turns them
into fuel for living a full happy life
they call that reframing the negative into a positive!
much better than when she used up all that energy
to bury them and they explode unexpectedly as well!

gasp as you photo by Kristen Handfield Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada http://sassmuffin.deviantart.com/

Biological reasons for taking medication

Sometimes people have lives which are stable and fulfilling because they have accepted that they have biological reasons for taking medication. The worst that can happen is when others who believe in life without medication try to influence the community to do likewise. This can be life threatening to many who depend on medication for a healthy lifestyle.

do not try to impose your viewpoint that
I should live my life without medication
as I may have biological reasons for
taking medication and my choices are
well informed and this is my decision
which I need you to respect

Emotional and physical burnout

When life experiences create unavoidable traumas we underestimate the impact on our health and behaviour. We have emotional and physical burnout which is a feeling of despondency and fatigue affecting our motivation.

Some of us turn to self medication through substances or process such as food, drugs, sex, gambling, over working, or becoming busy with chaotic unmanageability. Others withdraw and resort to sleeping too much or isolating. Some suffer untreated depression or other illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts.

All of these problems can be resolved. Primarily we need to rest and recuperate without feeling guilty whilst nature takes its healing course. This can be achieved through relaxation created by meditation, yoga, walking, swimming, meeting with friends and giving ourselves the time to recover.

Then we need to be medically checked, perhaps attend counselling, improving our nutrition and even taking supplements (vitamins). Furthermore and importantly we need to make ourselves reach out to friendly people and be transparent about our struggle. We can gain support in doing that just as we can give it to others later on.

It is vital to remember through the worst time that things will improve in time and before long we will find the motivation to succeed again.

As I sat in the dark tunnel as a result of a disaster
I wondered if the light at the end was an oncoming train or
the thrill of sunshine and happier days
now when I look back on that emotional and physical burnout
I chuckle to myself for letting it appear so hopeless

Manipulation – a dysfunctional behaviour

At some time or other we have all been the target of manipulation – a dysfunctional behaviour. It appears as emotional blackmail; an attempt to rescue us from making our own mistakes; foisting a guilt trip on us in an attempt to control us and many other examples. Unfortunately, we also are subject to doing the same so as to influence others to do what we want them to do. That is human behaviour, nevertheless, we can free ourselves of it because it can contaminate our own wellbeing.

How tempting it is to use tricks to get you to
do what I think is good for you, and me!
But I have learnt the hard way when it was done to me
and I dislike it so much, not to mention how obvious it was!
Manipulation – a dysfunctional behaviour which is
like a tumour in my psyche, whether I do it to you or
you do it to me – it still has the same outcome!

Busy

Being busy can be another way of running away from our inner turmoil. In this way we do not face what is troubling us, hoping it will go away if we don’t focus on it. Of course that is not the case. The turmoil only becomes trauma and harder to resolve when we don’t identify its existence and make an attempt to transform the conflict into peaceful outcomes. Awareness of the problem is 50% of the solution and education is the other 50% – the ‘what’ and ‘how’ to change it.

I was so stressed from the activities
I had committed myself for
it appeared as those there were not enough
hours in the day
I know this feeling, I’ve been there before
too busy to even relax and catch my breath
what am I trying to avoid?
what am I in denial about?
today is my birthday and life seems to be
flying by me!
now that makes sense and I need not stress
just need to have more fun

Tools of Serenity

We underestimate the benefit of the tools of serenity. That is, reading literature that promotes self awareness; writing about our feelings and innermost thoughts; meeting with like-minded people who are determined to live healthy; eating and drinking healthy; gentle exercise; and regular affirmations.

My six year old granddaughter
asked me for paper and pen to
pass the time away while her sister
was training for basketball
so I stopped my writing after a while
and handed her some paper and the pen
she wrote and wrote mesmerised
and I asked her what she was saying
she replied that she was writing about what had
happened at school and at home that made her unhappy
after a while she said there was nothing more to write
so I mentioned that perhaps she could write about how
she feels now that she has written all this
so she wrote that she felt happy
four small pages – one example of the tools of serenity

An Attitude of Gratitude

When we adopt an attitude of gratitude it helps us to free ourselves of resentful feelings and self-pity. It is so easy to get stuck in negativity unless we become grateful for what is positive in our lives. Then reality becomes more balanced and we enjoy a state of relative happiness.

I was grumpy about not being able to achieve
the ultimate goal I had made for losing weight
which is necessary for my health
then I thought hard about what I did achieve
and remembered that I no longer had
uncontrollable cravings
I had attended a self-help program regularly
and also checked in with my mentor often
indeed I had made much improvement
and what’s more had lost weight
an attitude of gratitude filled me then and
happiness moved in to soothe my pain

Affirmations – self hypnosis

When we need to change our own behaviour, to undo negative learning patterns, the most effective way to do it is by affirmations – self hypnosis. Repeating positive messages reprograms the negative tapes which compel us to behave in a certain way.

Affirmations are really another way of carrying out self hypnosis
in other words, repeating over and over the positive message
we wish to achieve in our behaviour
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!
means I begin to feel as though I truly can
for some the same happens when praying
both methods involve positive repetitive messages
with a lot of faith thrown in

Exercise is vital

Some of us find it anxiety provoking to consider any form of exercise and studies have confirmed that such people are those who are overweight, whether it is hormonal or psychological it matters not. Studies have also proven that sick people have improved with exercise. So exercise is vital for healthy living and can become a positive addiction when we persist.

when we want to be healthy and fit
exercise is vital
it can be walking, dancing, swimming
to name a few, all useful
and need not be daunting nor bewildering
studies have shown that people with illnesses
such as diabetes and heart problems have
shown remarkable improvement with exercise
tomorrow I will start with a little till it becomes a habit
and then I will not be able to do without it

Personal empowerment

Often we hand over our personal power to others and then wonder why we become victims. Personal empowerment is when we accept responsibility for our actions and how we live our lives. Others may create problems for us and maybe Life deals us difficult situations. However how we handle this, is completely up to us.

Power Prayer
I am responsible for what I see
I choose the feelings I experience
And decide upon the goal I would achieve
And everything that seems to happen to me…
I as for, and as I ask I receive (Course in Miracles)