goodbye – Dr Affie Adagio

Devil woman

How often have we heard “the devil made me do it”? In actual fact we make choices and sometimes we regret these choices and find it necessary to blame others in order to save face. This is especially the case when the consequences are not wanted. No one can make us feel anything we don’t want to – we allow them to make us feel in a certain way.

he had cheated before but convinced his wife that
it wouldn’t happen again and she believed him
then one day he disappeared with his best friend’s wife
she suffered for two weeks not knowing where he was
then he came back and professed his love for her
insisting that he did not love the other woman
but that she had thrown herself at him and
eventually he weakened and gave into her spell
the devil woman made him do it
that was the line that convinced his wife
it was impossible for them to
have a happy life together so she ended it
to this day he cries over being dumped by her
and his friends actually feel sorry for him!

Soulmates or love addiction?

There is a fine line between having a loving relationship and love addiction. A loving relationship involves soulmates having a fulfilling life based on like-minded friendship. Love addiction is a relationship that brings extreme highs and lows with unmanageablity as the distinctive characteristic which gets progressively worse. Soulmates or love addiction, which will it be for you?

he had experienced great unhappiness
and yet mad passionate love with her
he was finally free of that madness
and it hadn’t been easy to achieve!
in therapy he tried to understand
why he felt disinterested with his new love
and yet he knew he loved her deeply
it took a while for him to realise
that he needed to adjust to the reality of love
in other words: soulmates or love addiction?
he finally understood the difference
and since then his life has been
what he’s always hoped for and yet
thought he’d never have
together with serenity at last
as well as three adorable young children to love

Lonely

Human beings have an innate need to belong. This includes being in a union with a significant other and groups such as family, friends, community, work. Happiness also comes as a result of activities carried out alone such as walking and meditation. Then again sometimes being alone can bring on feeling lonely. This may not last long but it is a feeling which is unsettling. Nevertheless, without this feeling we would not socialise, so it has its value even though it is a nuisance.

it was a relatively happy day for me
then out of the blue I felt lonely
so I sat with the feeling for a moment
am I isolating? have I socialised lately?
then I realised that I am faced with a
necessary but unpleasant task to do now
which made me miss having fun with others
so feeling lonely was more manageable than
feeling self pity!
better get on with it I guess and
if I still feel lonely I’ll call someone

Family Tree

How important it is to know our family history. It contributes to the formation of our identity. A family tree shows where we came from and how special some of those ancestors are. With that also comes the odd relative who was not so great. You take the good with the bad and it helps to understood who you are. That’s what makes happy times. Have you got your family tree?

my cousins took the time to prepare our history
for future generations
one made a huge frame with family photos
which meant nothing without the
documentation made by the other cousin
and it helped me to remember what
my parents had told me and I learnt more
making me feel as though I found a gem
I spent some happy times and
melancholic nostalgia as
most have passed away
nevertheless reliving the history
with my family tree
has reminded me of happy times

Loneliness and despair

Quite often we overlook the pain men go through when their relationships go sour. This happens in the same way it does for women. However, women are more likely to share their distress whereas usually men are not so transparent. Some turn to drugs and give up on happiness. Loneliness and despair set in. They? isolate to deal with the loss and hurt. Nevertheless, the majority are survivers and in time they get to stand up and face Life again.

how bewildered he was when his partner left
what had gone wrong? He thought they were happy
was he not listening, should he have noticed more?
why didn’t anyone tell him? Maybe he could have
done something to save their love before it was too late
the alcohol and drugs ease the pain but
he still wakes up to the loneliness and despair
as he realises it’s over his mind plays tricks on him
is it really over? holding on to that empty wish
he reaches for the bottle!

Don’t give up on love

Love is our own emotion to do with as we please. We feel it for someone or we stop feeling that way. It is good when we love someone and it is painful when they stop loving us but they don’t take away the ability for us to love. It just causes us to withdraw for a while to heal our love wounds. Don’t give up on love when that happens because in time love blooms again and a powerful lesson is learnt too.

he loved her more than life itself
and would do anything for her to be happy
nevertheless it was not enough and she
left him stranded with the kids, toddlers at that!
then she returned only to leave again
this time with another in the middle of the night
she took one child and left the other
he was a good father as a sole parent
but he used to say “one life, one love”
and I would say “don’t give up on love”
one day he fell in love again
and how great it was to see his happiness

goodbye Donald Horne

some were invited today to celebrate
the life and works of this great man
he led a life that influenced many
and although he did not suffer fools
his warmth was far greater than most
if your were fortunate enough to
be the recipient of that side of him

as I sat and listened to leaders
speak of their experiences with him
I remembered the warmth he showed me
and that of his wife, Myfanwy, too
goodbye Donald Horne
it was an honour to know you