ritual – Page 2 – Dr Affie Adagio

Addiction and anorexia

Much has been written about the effect that thin models and movie celebrities have on young women. In an effort to look like these role models young women develop eating disorders. Addiction and anorexia are the same condition. When a person suffers from anorexia it is on the same eating disorder continuum as compulsive overeating. Just as life threatening as other addictions anorexia results in a distorted perception. The afflicted person does not see themselves as being thin and continues to do without food in order to lose more weight.

she was such a loveable person and
so thoughtful too, not to mention how
talented she was in writing
poetry straight from the heart
however, she battled addiction and anorexia
she managed to become free of the heroin
but not of the need to avoid eating
no matter what she tried it worked only
for a short time and then she was back
to her old ways which eventually led her
to her heroin addiction and death from starvation
some more fortunate are rescued from this fate

The clown in addiction

In life we need fun and laughter to stay healthy. When it is missing then we turn to substances and or processes that lift our spirits. Unfortunately, using such means results in repetitive behaviour which is not fulfilling because eventually whatever we do isn’t enough. The clown in addiction can be a cover up for immense unhappiness and low self esteem. In other circumstances, the clown is a fun performance for the audience to enjoy.

as she spoke to me about the sadness and abuse
she had experienced all her life up till now
she chuckled often at the most traumatic recollections
as a therapist I was obliged to give her feedback on this
pointing out that incongruous behaviour was not unusual
in codependence and addictions
she quickly understood the message about
the clown in addiction
and this insight, although it hurt a little
no pain no gain they say
helped her to be more authentic about
her feelings and therefore closer
to resolving the turmoil inside
serenity at last

Exercise is a necessity

Studies have shown that people suffering from diabetes can lower their sugar count by exercise and weight loss. Most people who are overweight find it difficult to exercise. Nevertheless, exercise is a necessity to all people. Walking is a gentle effective form of exercise.

she complained to me about
being asked by her doctor to
exercise regularly, even just walking
and I explained that
exercise is a necessity to
physical and mental health
she promised to begin by
walking short distances
and then perhaps
increase that bit by bit
before she saw me next time
I think that is an excellent beginning

Getting Married

Some people prefer not to marry but just live together. Their reasoning is that they think marriage is just a bit of paper which creates a feeling of being in prison. Others feel that when they have reached a state of intimacy that is fulfilling and exciting, then getting married is the cherry on top. The planning of the event symbolises their loving future together and is a happy ritual.

the couple came to me to plan their special event
they were getting married and wanted the ceremony
to take place in a secluded spot on the river
as it turned out they found a unique cave which
was tucked in the side of the mountain
and we stepped off their boat and
to the music of a friend’s guitar
the ceremony took place and it was
very romantic and memorable

Developing friendships

Some of us find it easy to reach out to others and some of us don’t. All it takes is for one person to reach out a few times and the other will reciprocate eventually. That’s the process of developing friendships. From then on the friendship becomes stronger and, despite natural moments of conflict, it becomes a lifelong relationship.

when I looked back on my closest friendships
to find out how they became that way
I discovered that I am somewhat slack in
contacting people I like because I am not
that keen on telephoning people although
I am eager to meet them once they phone me
nevertheless, once we become friends I reciprocate
the telephoning because I appreciate the effort they
have put into contacting me so I make the effort back
that’s been the birth of developing friendships with
some of my dearest friends

When Happy Hour means alcoholism

How great it is for most people to meet at the end of the day and enjoy two-drinks-for-the-price-of-one with work colleagues or mates. Happy Hour for the majority of people it is just that, but for those who have developed a drinking problem, Happy Hour is anything but happy. For them it means when they join the others, their drinking gets out of control. That’s when Happy Hour means alcoholism. If they are in recovery then usually they avoid that social ritual at the end of the day. Quite a paradox at that, but they have no choice for the sake of their sanity.

Happy Hour had been great as he and his mates
had been winding down after a busy day
he felt in a good mood, therefore, he was
oblivious to the fact that he had bloodshot eyes
and being drunk, his words slurred badly
I gave him feedback on what was obvious and
he admitted that the ideal was that he should
stop after the first few drinks but as he couldn’t
the realisation hit him yet again
he needed to accept the fact that alcohol
was his enemy and not his friend
and that fun with mates can be healthy
but he needs to avoid the ritual of having drinks
when Happy Hour means alcoholism