success – Page 4 – Dr Affie Adagio

Wedding flowers

Wedding flowers are such a lovely touch for a marriage ceremony. Once a small bouquet was thrown by the bride for the single females to catch.? It was believed that whoever caught the bouquet would be the next to get married.? Nowadays it is possible to have an elaborate arrangement which the bride keeps and has framed as well as a smaller version to throw for the single women to try and catch.

my daughter has her wedding bouquet
which is dried, pressed and framed
hanging on a wall in her house
it is so gorgeous and it always
reminds me of the day they
celebrated their marriage
even though on the funny side
I had tripped and landed on
my knees as we were about
to have family photos taken
I often wonder what brought
me to my knees, or was it
just clumsy of me?

Simple and quaint wedding cake

Here is another wedding cake which is representative of a traditional wedding cake with the bride and groom dolls on top. Yet it is simple and quaint for those who do not wish to have a many tiered wedding cake. As a celebrant I have seen many cakes. If you search you will always find what you like. This lesson also applies to everything in life.

a couple who came to me for
their wedding plans
turned out to be people who
had financial and emotional security
as well as fulfilling careers
they wanted a wedding which
would celebrate their loving relationship
without pomp and ceremony
a more personal event which
they could share with family
and close friends
so they wanted
a simple and quaint wedding cake
to fit the occasion

Marriage Cake, photo by Stenio Silva, Sao Paulo, Brazil, symbolic joy

Exercise is a necessity

Studies have shown that people suffering from diabetes can lower their sugar count by exercise and weight loss. Most people who are overweight find it difficult to exercise. Nevertheless, exercise is a necessity to all people. Walking is a gentle effective form of exercise.

she complained to me about
being asked by her doctor to
exercise regularly, even just walking
and I explained that
exercise is a necessity to
physical and mental health
she promised to begin by
walking short distances
and then perhaps
increase that bit by bit
before she saw me next time
I think that is an excellent beginning

Wedding car

Whether it is an extravagant wedding or one on a low budget, having a wedding car for the event can be dreamlike. Sometimes the car that you know you will not ever be able to own can make such a difference to have for that special day. It is also not as expensive as it may sound. Search around and you’ll see that it’s possible to get the wedding car of your dreams.

she had that sparkle in her eyes as
they spoke about their wedding plans
it was so exciting and she hesitated
as we discussed the transport
then he clarified the situation by
mentioning that they both had
wished for the wedding car to
be something elegant
but they were afraid of the cost
I mentioned that there’s not
much difference in the price
but rather it depends on finding
the company that uses the
wedding car that they like
so they went away to search
for their heart’s desire

Power of Music

The power of music can be easily overlooked. Notice which songs or tunes grab your heartstrings – varies with your mood doesn’t it? When we are in a good mood, happy songs complement our mood. When we feel unhappy, songs that are sad and almost like crying make us feel supported in that mood. When we are happy, hearing sad songs can be annoying. Residents of institutions, recovering from mental illness, can become more settled in their mood if classical music is playing. Research showed that monks listening to baroque music became more productive, similarly monks who chanted had the same productive outcome. Sometimes when I’m listening to sad music I can feel myself crying inside and at other times I feel impatient and need to change the music to something unemotional or perhaps classical. Music also helps me to be more aware of ‘where I’m at’.

when I ran halfway houses for people
recovering from addictions or
residential homes for wards of the state
it was apparent that
the music playing in the house
affected their moods
so I recommended that they avoid
as much as possible
heavy metal or loud thumping music
and this not only made a huge difference
to their inner peace and wellbeing
but also helped them feel more empowered
choosing to listen to such music in
shorter spurts and at
more appropriate times
for them and everybody else

Family of origin

When someone comes into recovery from addiction, dependency, emotional illness, or a loss of some kind, an important step is to share about their family of origin story. This is vital to recovery because some issues get buried unknowingly and can fester, affecting the person’s behaviour for years. On the other hand, also remembering the positive things about their family of origin can contribute to their recovery. This process can help a person improve the relationship with their family of origin, if appropriate to do so.

she used to hate going home for
important times such as Christmas
and as we spoke it became apparent that
the angst she felt was valid
but at other times unwarranted
nevertheless because she had
not dealt with these issues
resentments had be debilitating
both to her and her family
so she made a plan to
approach her family of origin
and be honest about how she felt
regarding certain past events
not forgetting to make amends too
when it was appropriate to do so
I reminded her not to be
attached to the outcome and
then the process could set her free

Food Addiction has triggers too

In all addictions, there are triggers which hook in the compulsion. Food addiction has triggers too. Triggers involve people, places and things which result in the food addict being driven to the very thing that they are trying to abstain from. ‘people‘ refers to those who have dysfunctional behaviour and affect us negatively. ‘places‘ are those which we need to avoid because of the temptation presented. ‘things‘ can be carbohydrates such as flour and sugar, which are poison to the food addict (one is too many, a hundred’s not enough). Then there’s the HALTS – hungry, angry, lonely, tired and serious – the states which are triggers for using feel-goods.

she had come to see me about the insanity
that overeating was causing her and
how she had tried everything!
belonging to a weight loss club
which had worked in the beginning,
special weight loss programs
which involved everything from
juice fasting to food replacement shakes
even nutritionally balanced diets
and yet all these worked temporarily
only to put on more weight than that lost!
we discussed her successful skills in business
and her unhappy experiences in life
she came to understand the meaning of addiction
and that food addiction has triggers too
that was the beginning of her recovery