June 2016 – Dr Affie Adagio

How dogs become our babies

iPhone Photos 002 My miniature Chihuahua, Pepi, is no differentÂ to my German Shepherd Kara, except that Kara was too big to cuddle up in bed at night. Pepi gets excited to meet people once he shows that he has a good watchdog bark after which he’ll jump in their laps. Nevertheless no matter how much he loves Â someone, and there are his favourites, if I leave the room or car even for a second he frets badly. I remember he was such a small bundle when I got him that he was smaller than the palm of my hand. He fretted so loudly, wailing if I left the room that I took to taking him to the toilet and when I was having a shower.

Midnight Vale 2014

What amazed me is that he and the cats warned me when I was having a diabetic hypo. He has a peculiar howl, Midnight kissed me on the mouth shocking me out of my sleep, and they would all stand like soldiers in a row.

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So I take him everywhere for his separation anxiety and my hypo prevention. As registered Companion Animals, dogs have to be given entrance in Supermarkets, Cafes and any shops because they save lives. It is far easier for me to take something when Pepi warns me of a hypo than if I pass out causing the management to be disrupted and to call an ambulance while risking my life until it arrives. Dogs have even known when someone has cancer before it’s detected by the medical profession. His unconditional love and his dependence on me is amazing and it feels like looking after my babies once more. Even so he has a will of his own and can be a little bully with the cats who love him dearly. They all give me the reason for coming home and to keep on living. For some of us feeling needed is paramount.😍

What makes a pet irresistible

Ruby hugging Midnight

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I love cats because of their ability to show affection by rubbing themselves against humans and chairs and so on. Their independence with using a kitty litter and washing themselves is outstanding but it can be annoying because their love is sooo selfish; only when they wish to share it! Asian breeds like Siamese, or Bombay such as my Anna and Midnight are more responsive. Which then makes it hard to do without them once they die. I’m still missing affectionate Midnight who died last year at 15yrs of age. Tabby Mae still looks for him now and then, calling out to him in the special way she used to. Ginger cat Ruby loved wrestling him into a hug. He enjoyed that rough love even though he wailed until she settled him into an embrace, he’d go back for more. Since he’s gone she has toned down her aggressive love behaviour because Mae won’t tolerate it. She just leaps away. Midnight loved to cuddle so if I called him he would immediately curl up next to me. The other male in the house, Pepi, Â knew to cuddle up on the other side of me. As this growling miniature Chihuahua didn’t like any of them to share the bed this did not stop them once Pepi fell asleep. Midnight loved to be cuddled like a teddy bear. More about Pepi in Â the next post.

Religion got it wrong

Religions are using fear tactics to suppress gayness! People are given wrong information by their religious leaders as can be seen by Waleed Ali from The Project in an interview with a gay Muslim religious man who has studied the Koran.

Waleed Ali

He found that being homosexual is permitted in Muslim teachings but shockingly misinterpreted as is the case in other religions.

Many homeless people refuse shelter

Ruby and Pepi cold

Sydney has had 2 days colder than any other in 10yrs. Yesterday I just managed to get out in the rain and get my windscreen wiper replaced at Jap Spare Parts for $20 (after some idiot has snapped it off) and did some shopping at Coles Surry Hills where I can take Pepi.

Mae cold

Today it’s just as freezing so my pets are cuddled up under covers and I’m watching TV rugged up even wearing gloves. I can’t cope with the temperature being too cold or too hot and I wonder how homeless people choose their lifestyle. It is a choice because I remember when I was the Director of Social Services at the Wayside Chapel our Youth Workers would offer homeless youth the opportunity of housing and food but they refused! Â I offered 2 older homeless Kings Cross identities, Graham and Con, help to get housing and food. Con said to me that they’d had all that and found it too boring. 👿

Helping vunerable animals gives a buzz.

Kara and Affie Watching army dogs finding dangerous explosives for the simple reward of playing ball reminded me of my beautiful German Shepherd dog Kara. We had decorated our new home on the sandstone cliffs of Arncliffe, Sydney, and it was time to find a dog. So we answered an advertisement and there were several pedigreed ones to choose from but I spotted a timid one curled in fear against the shed. So we took her home. She needed to be taught how to walk with bribes of little balls of raw mince. She blossomed and we wanted to let her have a litter before being spayed. We had the majestic grooms waiting for Kara to come on heat but they were not available when she was ready, so she found her own. As I drove into our Cul de sac on a rainy day there she was having fun with 4 local dogs (none were of her breed). So I angrily broke up the party and she ran remorsefully up the fifty stairs. Obviously her lover showed her how to jump the side fence. He stood in the rain on the first landing looking longingly up at her and she lovingly looked back down at him, through the huge glassed wall in our lounge room. As I softened at the sight of this love I said to my husband “you know he isn’t a bad little bugger!”

She gave birth to 10 pups all by herself in the carpeted laundry without a peep out of her and cleaned up any mess too. When I found my darling dog after the birth I was so impressed with her and so embarrassed about the fuss humans go through to give birth. She had 3 in her colouring and 7 black which she cared for and kept the sheet and Â blanket they were on spotless. After awhile I attempted to help her by feeding them dog food but from that moment on she relinquished her role as mother. At 6 weeks old we donated the gorgeous pups to the local pet shop. Kara was adorable and passionately loved by us all. More on her life later.💜

Cats in bedside drawers.

Mae in the drawer

As I sorted out my bedside table drawers I turned around to get the last drawer and got the fright of my life because Mae was cuddled up in it. The easy way to get an 8 kilo Tabby cat out is to make it ,”dinner time!”. As the cats ate, I pulled stuff out from underneath the bed and as I turned around there was my 7 kilos ginger cat Ruby snuggled up in the drawer. Fortunately she is the anxious one so she jumped out when I ordered her to.💥TheyÂ are so cute. 💜

Ruby in the drawer

Effective communication is the gold of relationships.

Letters from past

I was thinking about the circle of Facebook friends and relatives I’ve been in regular contact with over only a few months. How did this happen? Some new and some I hadn’t been in touch with for years and yet here we are sometimes in daily contact now.

Wedding at Mrs Macquarie's Chair As a marriage and family counsellor I point out how valuable effective communication is to a successful relationship. I’veÂ been married twice and each one was bliss when our communication was good, and when not good the end was inevitable. Thanks to Facebook the opportunity exists to click ‘like’ for posts that impress and eventually develop friendships with individuals through meaningful or amusing conversations. In my FB circle not only have I communicated with relatives and friends overseas but also new friends in Tasmania, Victoria, Queensland and of course NSW. So I’m planning to visit my Tasmanian friends where I’ve never been before. It’s all thanks to effective communication.💜

Fool’s Gold of declutter.

Grandson Nicholas and Pepi

When I wrote that I finished decluttering I was experiencing the Fool’s Gold of decluttering because I found more. My darling Uni student grandson, Nicholas, came to my assistance and pulled heavy suitcases out of my sorted wardrobe. I had him empty them onto my bed and place empty ones back up in it. One plastic tray was full of videos of interviews for my PhD in Sydney, 10 cities in USA, and 4 in Europe. He kindly took that out to our building’s skip.

More sorting out

So I sorted this ‘precious’ lot that I’d been saving for decades and threw out more bagfuls in the rubbish. In my 2 drawer filing cabinet I have one drawer for white folders with touching letters or cards from relatives (dead or alive) and dignitaries, which I can just flick through.

The other drawer holds courses I’ve designed for TAFE, Workshops and Seminars as well as covers of Newsletters I’ve created and of which I’ve been the editor, for example Wayside Chapel when I was the Director of Social Services, and The Humanist Society NSW Viewpoints for 12 years. If I don’t look at these for 1 year then out they will go too! Decluttering is traumatising because of letting go of great memories but it’s vital for inner peace and serenity.

Filing cabinet

Apollo the Greek sun god

My brother and me

Yesterday was my late brother Apollon’s birthday. The picture shows him and me in our 40s. He was intellectually disabled with severe epileptic seizures for which he wore a bicycle helmet at the workshop where he was during the day. He had 2 girlfriends who he danced with in the lunch breaks. Apollo was the Greek sun god and the name fitted my brother to a tee. Apollon’s smile warmed us like the sun and he lived in a world of his own. Yet Apollon could understand your next move when we were busy so he’d point to what was the next task. Apollon understood Greek, Romanian and English but his vocabulary consisted of words from each language mixed up as well as his own language, which is why only those who knew him well understood him. When he wanted water he would say “me apa” which is English and Romanian for water. If he was angry he would swear by saying “oh chittabya!” throwing Â one hand in the air (that was his own language). He loved animals and they loved him. I miss Apollon so much and I can’t get used to the fact that he died 4 years ago😢

When ego drives the bus

Me and my cousins

As I’m shifting through 50 years of cards and letters to put in a folder, I’m so glad I’ve kept letters from my loved ones, some of whom have died. On the other hand, I’m so so sorry I neglected them by not visiting more often whenever possible, or writing and phoning more, when I knew from them that they longed forÂ more contact from me.

Letters from past

One such person was my eldest cousin and mentor, ChrisÂ Polimeris, who was the executor to my father’s estate. When he lived in Sydney he politely disclosed that he wished I would visit more regularly. Yet I didn’t make the time or effort to do so, not even to phone him, even though I loved him deeply. Then he moved to Melbourne with his job and he’d write and I’d take forever to respond and then I’d send him many pages. I just came to a letter he wrote in the last stages of his illness when he expressed his disappointment angrily at my neglect to write and then his love for me as his cousin. Sure, I used to visit his family with my family at Easter holidays each year, but a little more effort from me would have meant so much to him. The picture in this post shows me at 11yrs with my 3 cousins Harry, Chris and Sandy. Now Harry is 80 and for the last few years I’ve changed my ways, visiting him and speaking on the phone regularly, as well as involving myself and supporting his activities with the Australian Hellenic Education Progressive Association. However in writing this I realise I could increase my contact with him even more. This applies to other members of my family, within reason because it needs to be reciprocated. When Chris reached his final hours I was coming to his bedside but was delayed and he lingered on semi conscious to the amazement of his doctors. Then once I got there he lingered on more for 2 days because I would tell him I’d see him later. So finallyÂ I whispered in his ear that I had to go back to my family and job, kissed him on the forehead and said “rest in peace, Chris”. He must have heard that because he died 2 hours later.💕