Friendship

Friendship photo by Richard Styles Newcastle under Lyme, United Kingdom http://www.sxc.hu/photo/517789 soulmatesFriendship is one of Life’s most valuable experiences. Whether it’s between friends or lovers, friendship is the basis of being soulmates and finding happiness. We enjoy being with our friends. They are there for us when we need them and we, in turn, try to do likewise. Furthermore, a loving relationship based on friendship has a better chance of being fulfilling and lasting.

I sat in a meeting and he shared that he knew
many people but did not have close friends
I was stunned at how profound that was
because it applied to me also
so I made a decision to leave myself open to
strengthening friendships with peers and
as the year passed I had a handful of
close friends – soulmates
friendship is so important to
having happiness in my Life

how

Happy and free

Happy Couple photo by Alberto Camin Brazil http://www.a2design.com.br happy and freeHuman beings are meant to be happy and free. This can be achieved and maintained through keeping life simple and healthy. Making choices that are good for us can be relatively easy when we know what our needs and wants are and deciding the order of importance these are to us. Otherwise life becomes stressful and that is life threatening. Back to basics, we need to go and identify how to go about doing that which makes us happy and free.

I got the buzz out of achieving some things
excited and proud I did more and more
if only there were more hours in the day!
that’s when my alarm bell rang
how easy it is to get out of touch with what
is really important for me
in order to be happy and free
I have to get back to basics, keep things simple
or else the stress demon raises its
ugly head and before I know it
I am running around in circles!

Happy Couple photo by Alberto Camin Brazil

A dysfunctional relationship is a tragedy

Mother and Child photo by Alex Furr Southampton, Great Britain http://www.loopit.org , http://www.sxc.hu/photo/47328 dysfunctional relationshipLiving in a relationship that is unhappy can lead to sickness. Some people sacrifice themselves for the sake of appearances and their children. They think that it is better to stay in the relationship than to break up a family. However, what they don’t realise is that staying in a dysfunctional relationship is a tragedy for the children and all concerned. This only provides an example of how miserable life can be and that we have to put up with it. It is far better that counselling be sought in an attempt to improve things or failing that believing that a fresh start can bring a better life.

she cried as she told me her tragic story
of domestic violence and misery
the fear for her children’s future
was another side to it and
in response to my suggestion that
should she want to move on there are
refuges for the safety of women like her
she stared me straight in the face and
told me that she couldn’t bear the
thought of breaking up her family
“what would people say?”
I wondered what tragedy would be the
outcome of this dysfunctional relationship

Feedback from the Life Strategies Workshop

Smiley OrangeI’d like to share with you feedback from my Life Strategies Workshop of 30th April…

  • insightful and useful afternoon
  • very relaxing and non threatening atmosphere
  • sharing with like-minded seekers
  • enjoyable and relaxing
  • interesting
  • a great experience
  • positive and creative

As the Life Coach for this session I designed and facilitated an activity which focussed on finding your passion and removing any obstacles. This proved to be inspiring as well as loaded with fun.

Think about it, what are you doing to find your passion? What’s stopping you from achieving your passion?

Befriending negative feelings

gasp as you photo by Kristen Handfield Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada http://sassmuffin.deviantart.com/ http://www.sxc.hu/photo/139431 negative feelings Some people think that we need to rid ourselves of negative feelings when in actual fact that would only result in pushing them down into the pressure cooker of our inner world. This will result in a volcanic eruption when we least expect it. More useful is befriending negative feelings and realising that they are valuable to us when we reframe them for a positive outcome.

negative feelings can be frightening
and she tried to bury them
feelings of anger, self pity, resentment
until someone pointed out that
befriending negative feelings turns them
into fuel for living a full happy life
they call that reframing the negative into a positive!
much better than when she used up all that energy
to bury them and they explode unexpectedly as well!

gasp as you photo by Kristen Handfield Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada http://sassmuffin.deviantart.com/

Breaking up is the only option

When love turns sour a relationship can be hell. There are ways to rectify that. We can talk about the problems and be willing to find resolutions or we can seek professional assistance. We do not hesitate to see an accountant or a builder as needed, therefore, seeing a relationship counsellor is just as reasonable. That way we know that we have done everything possible until breaking up is the only option. Just suffering and doing nothing it about should not be an option.

she said “let’s talk” and he avoided doing that
time passed and they distanced, as happens
when there’s no intimate communication
then she said “I’m leaving you unless we see a counsellor”
“we can sort it out ourselves” he replied
she loved him so she gave in
ten months later they parted amicably
eighteen years later she wondered whether
she should have insisted that they seek help
so breaking up is the only option


Breaking up photo by David Peter Hansen, Copenhagen, Denmark, http://dave.dk/

Marriage enhanced by the Opera House

So many people enjoy the opportunity to get married with the Opera House in the background. That makes such a beautiful picture – marriage enhanced by the Opera House. The most important celebration of a couple’s life deserves one of the best backgrounds in the world. Check out the truly beautiful picture in my Celebrant heading under Info.

Attitude – Choose our words carefully

attitude photo by Simona Balint Istanbul Turkey http://www.sxc.hu/photo/451750 sulk smileStress exists in everyone’s life. However, the best way to deal with it is to relax as we interact with others and make sure that we communicate our needs clearly. In other words choose our words carefully to get the right attitude. This is of benefit, ultimately, to all parties.

the child was in trouble with his mother and
she composed herself and explained to him
the reason that his behaviour was dangerous
he became annoyed as young children do
nevertheless she persisted and then asked him
if he understood why he was in trouble
he admitted he did but still had a sulk
she then asked him to change his attitude and put a smile
on his face to show that he understood, and he did
when we choose our words carefully the outcome
is productive and rewarding

Misunderstood messages cause anger

anger  photo by EMiN OZKAN Izmir, Turkey http://www.sxc.hu/photo/492238 frustration conflictHave you noticed how sometimes a message is not received as intended? When misunderstood messages happen then it’s the shared responsibility of the originator and the recipient. The recipient needs to check out what they hear if it causes frustration and anger, then the originator needs to communicate their intended message differently in the second or third attempts. The initial feelings are to lash out in anger when conflict occurs. In an effort to resolve the conflict all parties have the responsibility to put the effort into transforming that conflict to agreement or at least an understanding of the interaction intended.

woke up from my afternoon nap very rested
I needed to share something with you by phone
much to my amazement it annoyed you
and your voice sounded harsh as you
expressed your frustration!
it felt like a slap across the face to me
we did this unpleasant verbal dance for a while
then I remembered that misunderstood messages are
communication gone wrong
so I let go of my anger otherwise it could get nasty
and instead took responsibility for not expressing
the intended message accurately
a calmness overcame me and
our conversation ended amicably